Truth? Poof!

Truth. Or for me, Emet (the word in Hebrew) has been my rally cry for the last two decades.

So much so that I wore these words across my neck daily, never coming off. I even named my project work  in electromagnetic sciences, Project Emet. My secret little code word. A nod to the future. A nod to the why in life. My secret work of learning how the world works.

And here I sit designing it as a tattoo. It felt like logical the next step. After 20 years, I was ready to brand this creed on my skin. Emet had become a core belief. So core to adorn it on my body. This tattoo will be added to my Nightwing one, a testament to community and reminder that you are never alone. It would be in good company ❤️

And it would remind me of my commitment to truth for myself and the world. The ultimate why.

Why are we here? Why does disease happen? What is the purpose of this game called life?

But as I sit here editing the font choices online (yes you can design a tattoo online!), I’m completely questioning it. I’m questioning the value of the word and feeling anxiety over the letters that give it meaning.

Maybe this is a bad idea.

I’m not even sure I even know what “truth” stands for anymore as it has become clear there are various ones. I’ve had my own emets that have guided me. For example one emet was that mankind can do anything evidence by our art, buildings, and mega communities. I knew that our innate nature is to make community and build. That we choose to build vs. destroy innately. That no matter what, humans shared a common experience.

But that emet has been smashed to the ground as seeing that humans are capable of beheading babies and burning people alive… I honestly didn’t think that was evolutionary possible. Sure you can have one nut job, but hundreds of people committing crimes like this?

And it legit rocked my core…my emets of the world came to the ground. Everything I thought I knew…poof!  Truth went poof. Maybe you are feeling the same.

There is no one emet. And my search for “it” is a farce and its been a hard pill to swallow. A pill that keeps forcing itself down my throat even when I haven’t asked to take it as we all don’t SEE things as they really are. I’m not about to drop “cultural bias etc.”. I’m talking about the physical picture our mind is processing through our eyes. As there is nothing real about it. What we “see” (process) with our own eyes is not an exact replica of the world before us even. And I’m not even referring to the EMF world of light and sound waves that you can’t see, but surround your body like a blanket. I’m just referring to the literal “physical” image of stuff we should be able to see. 

Have you ever asked yourself where your nose is in your picture view?

No seriously! Where is your nose in your field of vision right now reading this? Go ahead try and see your nose.

In theory your eyes which are set back will have a front up seat to that smelling appendage. Your nose should be in the bottom of each frame of your visual image like my thumb in every picture I take. But no…it’s not there?

Turns out your mind filters out extraneous information so you can concentrate on what is important. So that nose…it gets cut. I wonder what else is cut? What else does my mind determine is superfluous? 

And with everything in the middle east and how everyone having and VOICING their own truth on the realities of a situation dating back as long as Abraham…I’m not feeling the Emet over here. I’m not feeling it at all. 

Not even sure I believe in it.

And now the word that I would clutch during Jacob’s treatment, and press to my heart during trauma, as a reminder that the truth exists and will set Jacob, me, the world free, is no longer resonating. I think I am actually fearing it. As this tattoo would also mean putting Hebrew letters on my body. Having a mark. Declaring being a Jew to any stranger. 

This project is on hold.